


push you off this tightrope

by slotumn



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Lack of Communication, Mutual Pining, Relationship Study, both of them are kind of sad and pathetic in this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:14:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26446921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slotumn/pseuds/slotumn
Summary: The end of the war was near, so she began with not visiting the library.A.K.A. Lysithea attempts to break things off. It doesn't work.
Relationships: Lysithea von Ordelia/Claude von Riegan
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10
Collections: Slotumn Portfolio





	push you off this tightrope

**Author's Note:**

> Getting back into writing angst, because there's been too much fluff lately. In case you couldn't tell, "Lysithea not telling Claude about the lifespan thing and angsting" is one of my favorite things about this pairing lol
> 
> May write a second chapter from Claude's POV, who knows.

The end of the war was near, so she began with not visiting the library.

It was where their— everything, had occured, so simply taking that out of the equation drastically reduced the time she had to be around him. Adjusting her training and meal times was easy enough (and Professor didn't invite them together to meals, thank goddess)— and the war councils were unavoidable, but all she had to do then was to ignore the glances he threw her across the table.

That much was doable.

The most difficult part was, pathetically, at nights, when the thought of death and her future (or lack thereof) haunted her worse than any ghosts, and her feet kept pacing. 

If it was only about sexual release, she could always do it on her own, but these desperate wartime hookups weren't about that. No, it was about concentrating on something other than your own thoughts— taking yourself out of your own head, as to not go insane.

Goddess knew they both needed it. 

"...Dammit."

She only realized she always visited him, and never the other way around, after consciously stopping her steps from turning towards his room.

\---

So of course, the first time he visited her was the evening after she passed out during training. 

"We have to talk."

Did he hear about it? 

Perhaps, perhaps not, but that didn't really matter right now. 

"We don't," she insisted, attempting to shut the door, but Claude pushed his way in before she could.

"You do realize it's a problem for a general in the army to not talk to the leader for two weeks straight ahead of a decisive battle, right?"

Ah, so that was the angle he was going with. 

She cursed and thanked that he was making it easy to come up with excuses. 

"I've reported everything you'd need to know during the war council," she replied, not looking at him, "and if you want to know the details, you can always ask Professor."

Claude let out a loud sigh, and she could practically see him shaking his head alongside it.

"Alright, alright, fine, I'll cut the bullshit and get to the point," he said. "I just want to know why you've been avoiding me all of a sudden."

The situation wasn't very funny, but a small chortle came out of her throat. "If I was going to tell you the reason that easily, I wouldn't have avoided you."

Technically, that wasn't a lie. 

"...Look, if I did something wrong, the fastest way to fix it is to tell me," he said, stepping closer behind her. 

This was the part where the "it's not you, it's me," thing came out, according to all those novels she read.

"You always think it's all about you, huh."

Close enough.

A hand landed on her shoulders— overly tentative, unlike the usual Claude.

"Even if it's not, there has to be some reason," he said, voice low. "Tell me, and we can fix it."

We can fix it. 

We.

Her fists clenched.

"And how conceited do you have to be," she choked out, through gritted teeth, "to assume it's something you can fix?"

The answer was, not at all, since it wasn't as though he knew about her little problem with the lifespan, but—

"...Now you're just trying to pick a fight," he sighed once more, arms carefully wrapping around her. "Be as angry as you want at me, if it makes you feel better, but...in the long term, pushing people away won't fix anything, Lys."

—fuck, how dare he be calm reasonable about this, instead of getting mad and emotional right back like a normal person?

How dare he always be the adult, and reduce her to a tantrum-throwing child. 

She tore herself out and whipped around, so many words ready to burst out of her throat. Such as, "Yes, it will, because getting close to you was the mistake."

Or, "Stop prying and move on with your life, instead of caring so much about another one that's going to end soon."

Perhaps even, "I love you, and that's exactly why you aren't allowed to feel the same way back."

They all went back in as soon as her gaze landed on his face, wearing not anger, frustration, or even sorrow, but rather—

—the all-too-familiar exhaustion.

So much for breaking it off, she thought, falling right back into his arms with a sob.

\---

"Gods, I missed you," he said, like they had been actually apart.

How are you going to stand it once I'm actually gone, she wanted to ask, but the only noises she made were more pitiful cries against his kisses.

He kissed her a lot, which used to catch her by surprise, with how uncharacteristic it was of him to be so outright affectionate— to the point it felt desperate. 

That was the first sign that all of this was a bad idea, but in the end, she was never going to be strong enough to turn it down.

"Hey. Look at me."

The more you loved, the more you lost— so in their situation, was it worse for it to be unbalanced, or for it to be reciprocal?

She didn't have an answer to that.

"...Whatever you're worried about, I promise it's going to be alright."

Perhaps he would, in the not-so-distant future.

For now, she matched every one of those kisses, sad and pathetic and so, so desperate to believe those words. 

**Author's Note:**

> [Join the Lysiclaude Discord!](https://discord.gg/GZmtGbw) (Adults only, please note)  
>   
> [My twitter](https://twitter.com/slotumn?s=09)  
> 


End file.
